Fear of Sharing

Part of the reason I started this blog is that I have a big procrastination problem when it comes to my writing. Instead of putting my ideas down and sharing them, I hoard them, worry over minutiae, and never think anything is perfect enough to share.

Now, if I have a specific deadline (for a conference, article revisions, etc), I'm there--no problems whatsoever. It's that first step, when I need to give my work to someone else, that all of these niggling, "I just need to do revise that section one more time," "Let me just double-check that date," "the structure isn't quite right," thoughts creep in.

See, I even saved time by grabbing a random image from Wix instead of using this as an excuse to spend an hour taking a perfect photo--baby steps!

So, for the new year, I thought I'd use this platform to challenge myself to GET OVER IT. Or at least get to know this particular challenge, become friends with it, and maybe stop hanging out with this little fear buddy so much. I picture him like an alot if you want to visualize along with me.

I've got good motivation: my tenure clock is ticking, I've got exciting work to share, and I'm fortunate to have lots of support from people in all walks of my life. The fear isn't rational, but it is real.

I'm going to try and write a post each Sunday that I spend no more than 30 minutes on. Tonight, for example, I'm going to post this by the end of the Eagles vs. Bears Wild Card game, and I started it when we had 9 minutes left in the 4th. These are going to be messy and might ramble and make no sense, and they certainly will not contain the kind of funny yet poignant lyrical prose I'd love to pretend I write with all the time...but just the act of writing something, putting it out there, and walking away is my goal.

Tonight was about why I'm doing this, but for the most part the next posts will cover the work I'm doing on the book each week. Feel free to read, to comment, to join this challenge if you struggle with the same thing, or to send me your strategies and tips.

Before I go, another thing I'm trying to do this year is not take my phone to bed with me, which means I'm working on doing more reading out of actual books. This week, I'm reading Hallie Rubenhold's The Covent Garden Ladies: Pimp General Jack and the extraordinary story of "Harris' List." It's a fascinating story, and the inspiration for the TV show "Harlots."

Next up is a biography of the incredible and fascinating Charlotte Charke!

Okay, we've got a minute left...here's hoping for a Philly special.